Anaconda by Lauren Landish

Published: March 26, 2017

So I wasn’t going to review this book or even read it but honestly with a title like Anaconda I had no choice. I also read the blurb and the main female protagonist is a housekeeper at a hotel and I relate to that on a whole other level since I did that while I was in high school. Another reason I had to read it was just because the name made me laugh. At least when you put it with Sir Mix-A-Lot, “My anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns hun.” One of the classics that is still sung no matter how terrible of a song it is. Anyway, this novel wasn’t all that bad. It wasn’t great but it wasn’t as terrible as I was honestly expecting it to be.

Gavin Adams is a football star who is trying to make it into the movies. Only everyone can’t seem to let the unfortunate video of him die. In this video the world figures out just how big Gavin is under his jock strap. Thus earning him the name of “Anaconda”. Not saying the name isn’t well deserved but he would like to be known for more than his junk. So when he goes to this po-dunk town in the middle of nowhere to film his new movie the last thing he expects is to walk out on the housekeeper while he is naked. Only there is something about her that he is drawn to and it just isn’t normal. When she starts to occupy all of his thoughts he knows he needs to figure out who she is and go after her. A little fling while filming might be just what he needs.

Brianna is trying her hardest to get out of working at the hotel, get her degree, and move up in the world. She likes her town but she hates her job. And who can really blame her? Her boss has wanted to fire her since day one and she has to deal with asshole customers everyday. It’s not bad enough that their rooms are terrifying but they have to be rude about everything too. That is until she meets Gavin. She doesn’t know what to think of him and is probably the only person ever who has never heard of him. But when he pursues her she doesn’t know what to do. He leaves in a week or so. Can she really just have a fling?

This was a fairly quick read and while I didn’t mind Gavin as a character, I did get a bit annoyed with Brianna. She jumped to a lot of conclusions throughout the book which made her seem like an idiot. Though that wasn’t what the author was going for that is what was portrayed. The sex scenes were hot and the banter could be pretty witty. That’s about it for the good things I can say for this novel but it was a Kindle Unlimited book so I didn’t lose anything in giving it a shot.

—“Trollop? This is the twenty-first century! How about getting with the times instead of sitting on your ass all day reading Playgirl magazine?” -Brianna to Mr. Vandenburgh—

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